They call me Junior, tell me I'm two, and, according to my bib, consider me a precious little gift from heaven, which may no longer apply after the seven-hour car ride today where I threw three temper tantrums, stuck a jelly bean up my nose, choked on a plastic frog, and timed each poopy to occur after we passed the rest stop.
We were at the beach, judging by the smell of battered fish and overabundance of joggers wearing thongs. It was another family reunion with Mommy's family who, according to Daddy, doesn't have a brain cell or a complete set of teeth between them - crammed into what was advertised as a quaint water-front cottage which turned out to be a tiny bug-infested trailer overlooking a sewage drain. That explains why Uncle Buford had some rental money left over for lottery tickets.
I was a good sport for the first several hours of sand-filled diapers, gritty bologna sandwiches, pinches on the cheek, and requests to hear my off-key rendition of twinkle, twinkle little star. I held it together when Raynelle walked out in her new swimsuit (I've had band aids bigger) and Granny Jean told her she was going to hell. Granny is convinced that half of us are going to hell and the half who aren't should be. I kept my cool when I had to sit with Uncle Buford who on a good day thinks the year is 1956 and he's a runner for the mob. And I did not let my temper slip when Aunt Edna started slurring her words and crying over her cat Bootsy who died when she was twelve.
But I'm only two for gosh sakes, I have my limits. And by the time the sun set on our rusty trailer, my patience had worn thin. It was time for some pay back. I chose bedtime as the perfect opportunity. Bedtimes are always a good opportunity. I must admit that I have mastered the art of bedtime stall tactics. So after six books, two kisses, four glasses of water, and a bedtime prayer that would have made Moses proud, I had my Mommy just where I wanted her, with her eyes glazed over and her mouth gone slack. It was time to bump things up a notch. I picked that moment to call out for my Yucky-Yucky who I knew full well had been left behind at our house sleeping soundly in the guest room commode where I left it.
I know it's an odd name for my most beloved object of affection. But Yucky-Yucky is not your average childhood treasure. Not one of those cute plush animals delivered to me at birth by a line of blue-haired well-wishers from the local Baptist church, but an old plastic naked doll with chopped up hair, a face covered with red magic marker, and a missing pinky - delivered straight out of the mouth of the dog next door - and not too willingly might I add. "NO, NO!" Mommy kept shrieking. "That's the dog's toy. It's yucky, baby. It's yucky, yucky." Hence the name.
I made it clear that I wanted Yucky-Yucky and that I would do anything including holding my breath to get it. It was at that particular moment that all eyes turned on me and pandemonium ensued as the entire cast of wacky southern characters descended on me like the seagulls on the Cheetos we had tossed out on the beach.
I screamed. I kicked. I held my breath until I turned blue and Granny said I was going to hell for being disobedient and Aunt Edna tried to give me mouth to mouth until Mommy stopped her and spared me my first taste of Budweiser.
They sent Uncle Skeeter out to buy another doll, cut off the hair, mark all over the face, run over it a couple of times, and pass it off as my Yucky-Yucky. Please, did they think me an idiot? I may forget the number six every time I count to ten, but I know an imposter when I see one. I let them have a couple moments of peace before launching into another jag of earth-shattering bellows.
It was then that Grunt, Cousin Ned's three-legged deaf hound dog, caught sight of Yucky-Yucky and went after it - one of those nice unplanned surprises. I cranked it up a notch while they all chased after Grunt to get the doll, knocking over furniture and trashing what was probably already considered trash to begin with. Ned finally pried the plastic doll from Grunt's teeth and threw it to Aunt Vyrnetta who managed to grab it and fling it up into the air before falling backwards into the fish tank and ripping her new orange Capri pants which, Mommy was correct, made her rear end look like an overgrown pumpkin.
And this is how the counterfeit Yucky-Yucky flew directly into the ceiling fan which had been operating at full speed ever since Aunt Edna had another one of her hot flashes. And there we all witnessed with startling clarity, the death of this imposter Yucky-Yucky who was decapitated in front of our very eyes. Death by ceiling fan.
I stopped crying. The dog stopped barking. Everybody stopped talking and moving at once. Complete silence except for the sound of the plastic head rolling across the hardwood floor where it landed with a thud against a ceramic dolphin wearing sunglasses, the rest of its body still lodged in the fan, whirling round and round like some freaky carnival ride.
They all agreed that letting me stay up as late as I wanted would have a far lesser impact than the scarring that would occur from the gruesome scene which had just played out. And so there I sat, in the middle of it all, for the rest of the night, nestled in my Aunt Edna's bosom that smelled like roses and Marlboros, while Granny prayed over my soul and Uncle Skeet picked a little "I'll Fly Away" on the guitar. Eventually, I fell asleep. Who can blame me? I was exhausted. And in my dreams I replayed that scene over and over - my first real decapitation. Too cool. How will I ever top that?
Selasa, 27 Juni 2017
Kamis, 15 Juni 2017
Teaching Your Toddler: 5 Building Blocks for Your Future Reader
Teaching your toddler to become a good reader is simply a matter of building the right foundation!
It's true that no building will stand without the proper foundation being laid, and as a mommy you are a master builder! Your child's education begins at home with you, and it starts the moment life begins! You teach your child everything from finding food to sitting, to crawling, walking, talking, and - YES - even reading! Don't write-off the idea so soon; instead, grab a pen and paper and add these tools to your collection. Soon you'll be constructing a love for learning!
5 Building Blocks for Your Future Reader
BLOCK #1: Make Reading a Daily Routine
Making reading a part of your daily routine is going to help your little one acquire the information and skills needed to succeed in school and life. Yes - it's that powerful! Reading aloud to your child will expose them to the world in which they live, and help them to understand it. It will create awareness of the relationship between sound and print, and increase their vocabulary. It will also engage their imagination, and develop in them a love for learning.
Consistency is key! Reading daily is much simpler than you might think, and you can make it an experience that is fun and special for you toddler. Establish regular times to read, like before bed, and look for other opportunities throughout the day:
Get cozy with a good book in the morning before the day starts.
Read before a nap to help settle your little one down.
Read during snack time.
Read anytime your child brings you a book.
BLOCK #2: Read Age-Appropriate Books
Age is a big factor in selecting the right type of book that will create an enjoyable experience for both you and your child. Today you can find many good books available that will suit your baby's stage of development. For babies and toddlers you'll want to look for:
Books that are easy to manipulate for little hands
Books that are durable (e.g. plastic books or board books)
Age-appropriate subjects (think animals, numbers, family, alphabet, etc.)
Simple, uncluttered illustrations or photos
In addition to selecting age-appropriate books, use YOUR child's interests and imagination to drive your reading selections. They will enjoy looking at books about things that they are curious about in their world!
BLOCK #3: Read with Expression
The value of reading right cannot be emphasized enough! The more excited and animated you are when reading to your child, the more excited they will be to listen. Are there multiple characters in the book? Give them different voices. Are you asking a question or making a statement? Change your tone to match the sentence. Are there certain emotions being expressed? Express that emotion in your voice (sadness, happiness, anger, surprise, excitement) to help bring the story to life.
Why is this important? Reading with expression will help your child to relate the book you are reading to what they are experiencing in their every day life. It will also help early readers with comprehension as meaning is added to the printed word.
If you are not the "animated type," don't worry. You can think outside the box:
Ask an older sibling to read to your little one.
Enlist the help of your spouse or other relatives.
Consider audio books for children.
Practice reading the story with expression before you read it to your child.
BLOCK #4: Make it a "Hands-On" Experience
It's no surprise that a toddler is "hands-on." Rather than fighting against that natural curiosity, guide it in the right direction! Allow your child to turn the pages of the book, to hold it and explore it before you might even read the text. If there are parts of the pages that are fuzzy, or soft, or provide some sort of tactile experience, take your toddlers hand and guide it to "feel" the book.
My 18 month old loves to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. One of the main reasons he loves this book is because we stick his little fingers in the holes where the caterpillar "ate through" his food. His favorite day in the book is Saturday, where he gets to touch the chocolate cake, the ice cream cone, the lollipop - you get my point. His hands get to explore the book and it makes it more enjoyable for him!
Another way to create a tactile experience is to use touch throughout the reading. For example, hold your child tight if it's scary, tickle his sides if something silly happened, crawl your fingers on the side of her arm if there is a moment of suspense! Your toddler will love this and it will make your reading time special.
Block #5: Be Patient!
Your patience is included as a key to future reading success because it will be required on the journey! Initially you may feel that your child shows no interest in reading at all and you may be tempted to get discouraged - BE PATIENT. Every child develops at a different pace so don't compare your experience to someone else's. Be consistent and adaptable.
Your little one may bring you his or her favorite book to read over, and over, and over, and over again - BE PATIENT! Reading the same story frequently is exciting to your little one. Before you turn the page they "know what's coming," and may even learn some of the words through the repetition.
When your child really gets into the "nuts and bolts" of reading in school, there may be times of frustration - BE PATIENT! All of your efforts are well worth it!
Now go, master builder, and use these building blocks to lay a solid foundation for your future reader! You CAN teach your toddler!
It's true that no building will stand without the proper foundation being laid, and as a mommy you are a master builder! Your child's education begins at home with you, and it starts the moment life begins! You teach your child everything from finding food to sitting, to crawling, walking, talking, and - YES - even reading! Don't write-off the idea so soon; instead, grab a pen and paper and add these tools to your collection. Soon you'll be constructing a love for learning!
5 Building Blocks for Your Future Reader
BLOCK #1: Make Reading a Daily Routine
Making reading a part of your daily routine is going to help your little one acquire the information and skills needed to succeed in school and life. Yes - it's that powerful! Reading aloud to your child will expose them to the world in which they live, and help them to understand it. It will create awareness of the relationship between sound and print, and increase their vocabulary. It will also engage their imagination, and develop in them a love for learning.
Consistency is key! Reading daily is much simpler than you might think, and you can make it an experience that is fun and special for you toddler. Establish regular times to read, like before bed, and look for other opportunities throughout the day:
Get cozy with a good book in the morning before the day starts.
Read before a nap to help settle your little one down.
Read during snack time.
Read anytime your child brings you a book.
BLOCK #2: Read Age-Appropriate Books
Age is a big factor in selecting the right type of book that will create an enjoyable experience for both you and your child. Today you can find many good books available that will suit your baby's stage of development. For babies and toddlers you'll want to look for:
Books that are easy to manipulate for little hands
Books that are durable (e.g. plastic books or board books)
Age-appropriate subjects (think animals, numbers, family, alphabet, etc.)
Simple, uncluttered illustrations or photos
In addition to selecting age-appropriate books, use YOUR child's interests and imagination to drive your reading selections. They will enjoy looking at books about things that they are curious about in their world!
BLOCK #3: Read with Expression
The value of reading right cannot be emphasized enough! The more excited and animated you are when reading to your child, the more excited they will be to listen. Are there multiple characters in the book? Give them different voices. Are you asking a question or making a statement? Change your tone to match the sentence. Are there certain emotions being expressed? Express that emotion in your voice (sadness, happiness, anger, surprise, excitement) to help bring the story to life.
Why is this important? Reading with expression will help your child to relate the book you are reading to what they are experiencing in their every day life. It will also help early readers with comprehension as meaning is added to the printed word.
If you are not the "animated type," don't worry. You can think outside the box:
Ask an older sibling to read to your little one.
Enlist the help of your spouse or other relatives.
Consider audio books for children.
Practice reading the story with expression before you read it to your child.
BLOCK #4: Make it a "Hands-On" Experience
It's no surprise that a toddler is "hands-on." Rather than fighting against that natural curiosity, guide it in the right direction! Allow your child to turn the pages of the book, to hold it and explore it before you might even read the text. If there are parts of the pages that are fuzzy, or soft, or provide some sort of tactile experience, take your toddlers hand and guide it to "feel" the book.
My 18 month old loves to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. One of the main reasons he loves this book is because we stick his little fingers in the holes where the caterpillar "ate through" his food. His favorite day in the book is Saturday, where he gets to touch the chocolate cake, the ice cream cone, the lollipop - you get my point. His hands get to explore the book and it makes it more enjoyable for him!
Another way to create a tactile experience is to use touch throughout the reading. For example, hold your child tight if it's scary, tickle his sides if something silly happened, crawl your fingers on the side of her arm if there is a moment of suspense! Your toddler will love this and it will make your reading time special.
Block #5: Be Patient!
Your patience is included as a key to future reading success because it will be required on the journey! Initially you may feel that your child shows no interest in reading at all and you may be tempted to get discouraged - BE PATIENT. Every child develops at a different pace so don't compare your experience to someone else's. Be consistent and adaptable.
Your little one may bring you his or her favorite book to read over, and over, and over, and over again - BE PATIENT! Reading the same story frequently is exciting to your little one. Before you turn the page they "know what's coming," and may even learn some of the words through the repetition.
When your child really gets into the "nuts and bolts" of reading in school, there may be times of frustration - BE PATIENT! All of your efforts are well worth it!
Now go, master builder, and use these building blocks to lay a solid foundation for your future reader! You CAN teach your toddler!
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